Shot Alive

The world of language translation is fraught with dangers. There is an old joke about the first computer to translate languages. They did the test run from English into Chinese, but no-one present could understand Chinese to see if it was right so they had to use the computer to translate back again.

The original message: Out of sight out of mind

The result after two translations: Blind Idiot

Well these have only been translated once, but the essential flavour of craziness and blindness is still there. Please don't read too many in one sitting as the sides can get sore (you have been warned!)

When I told this story to some friends, one of whom teaches Spanish, they told me a story back. Someone wrote something that had "binary digit" in the description of a person. Eventually they worked out that the person was using a dictionary to translate that someone was a "bit" something.

Of course one has to wonder whether some of these are accidents or some mischievous westerner has been employed by the signwriters.

The title link will take you to flickr photos tagged "chinglish" in order of interestingness and will be updated with new photos from time to time. Many of the photos there are of signs with very rude English words in them, and those with deicate tastes should stop before the bottom of this page. Individual photos can be clicked to go to larger versions in flickr and you can add comments if you are a member.

"Very, very bad Chinglish, by andreasee"
I actually got off the bus and doubled back to snap this photo. It's an ad for a yet-to-be-built condominium complex. I wonder if they'll have the Zyklon block, Dachau block, Rommel block...

"Office of Mayhem Evaluation, by xiaming"
This is one of my favourite signs in China. I'm not going to say where it is, because the place is a friend of ours, and I'd never do anything to embarrass them.

Charming Dentistry, by mtbl"
I'm not sure if "charming" and "Denistry" go together in my mind. I haven't got a clue what the "English Full of Process" means.

My favourite sign outside a restaurant at Zhongshan Street. I think it is supposed to say Barbecued Oysters.

Bu ke hui shou wu, Beijing

"Caution Neehanicalinjureycable, by xiaming"
This splendid warning sign is a few steps from my front door.

"Useless subtitles"
I got this copy of 少年去天国 because it said it had English subtitles. It does, but I don't think they are going to help me understand the movie.

"give 'em the 'aul slip"

"mother soldiers", by webel
This sign is on the outside of the train station in Yueyang, China (Hunan Province.)

"Convey your heartworm feelings (Qingdao), by xiaming"
Sign found in a Korean restaurant in Qingdao, China. Regretfully, a flash flare was necessary (very dark restaurant and no tripod at hand).

"Cowboy Bone, or Button up the Duck, by qilin"
The sad thing about this restaurant is that it was decent, pretty clean, good food, wide selection, but their menu was just classic. I couldn't come up with this stuff if I tried. Seems like they used an electronic translator that was really bad.

"Help, waiter--I can't decide what to order"
I just had Saliva Chicken yesterday so maybe I'll order the Husband and Wife lung slice today. I'll have a Sauce Cow on the side, but hold the Sauce Pig hand, please.

"Private vegetables, by xiaming"
Extraordinary. I mean, I'm all for food porn, but what you do with your vegetables in the privacy of your home is your business!

Spotted in Xi Dawang Lu, Beijing. Thats a very, very sexy street, people.

"Very Special Ginger Ale, by xiaming"
The proprietors of Cafe Ibiza, in Beijing's Jianwai SOHO, do something very special to their ginger ale before serving to the customers.